


the ink that stains my heart

by orphan_account



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: AU, Emotional torment, M/M, a sad jihoon :(, also daehwi is cute :3 but thats bc he's daehwi, donghan and jinyoung are minor but important i promise, idk where the live its vague probably new york IMAGINE new york pls thanks, really sad jihoon, the whole thing is just woojin protecting jihoon from the ugly big bad wolf, woojin is so cute i'd cry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-29 21:41:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12639714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Because Jihoon thinks Woojin is the only person he can trust with everything he stores to himself in his mind, his soul and his heart.





	the ink that stains my heart

**Author's Note:**

> Before the storm. Or, at least the light downfall.

 

It’s Woojin’s 20th birthday. Jihoon is sitting with him on the sofa of their small studio apartment, legs tangled and arms resting lightly on Woojin’s lap. The soft humming of the television and the gentle breeze of the midnight wind fill the gaps and spaces of silence between the two of them. The soft glow of the screen and the dim lights that radiate off of the string of fairy lights makes the room a weird mixture of this yellow color that looks oddly like a mustard sweatshirt Woojin gave him. Jihoon can hear Woojin’s short and shallow breathing and, quite frankly, he feels as though this is the right time to do what he’s been waiting to do since he was 18. He examines the scene, feels as though it’s something he’s going to remember for a while and, depending on the following events, he’ll either have positive or negative connotations attached to it. He’s already given Woojin his gift, he gave him a charm bracelet (wow very 2003 romance movie of him), one with a small key (Jihoon feels as though now isn’t the right time to tell Woojin that it coincidentally matches the anklet Jihoon has around his, well, ankle). This gift, however, is one he hasn’t had the courage to give anyone yet, and he’s anxious. Hell, anxious isn’t even a strong enough word to describe the amount of fear that lingers on Jihoon’s shoulders. He fights it, metaphorically shoving away the hands of fear that have held him down for the past 4 years. He can see Woojin is peripheral vision, giving him a strange look. He ignores it and rushes into the kitchen to get something hiding in a stack of old college textbooks that none of them use. His steps are small, the only noise emitting from Jihoon is the jingling of his anklet. He takes years to reach Woojin, or at least what feels like years. It’s almost as if the stack of books placed on the top of his hands weighs him down. This, this is something that he’s not sure he wants to do anymore, but it’s too late. Jihoon realizes now that no matter how many times he’s imagined this moment, nothing will be like the real thing. He’s on the couch now, sitting down with his spine as straight as ruler, eyes darting around the room everywhere except for Woojin. He takes a few deep breaths and realizes that it’s _now or never_. His inhale is extremely loud, like it’s a knife cutting through the peaceful humming in the back. Jihoon decides that he’s going for _now_.

 

“How long have you known me for?” Jihoon questions, an evident uncertainty in his voice.

“Why? Do you need a reminder?” Woojin answers back.

 

“No, but I just need you to state it, for dramatic purposes.”

“All for you. Well, I’ve known you since I was 4, so what’s that? 16 years?”

 

“And for how many years of that were we together?”

“All of it.”

“Woojin.” Jihoon says, blunt tone and impatience rising throughout his body.

(This is Woojin, he knows his limits)

 

“Alright, 4.”

“Thank you, I’d like for you to consider these facts for the remainder of my speech”

 

Jihoon lifts the package of neatly wrapped books up and into the middle of them.

 

“This,” he says gesturing to the stack “is your birthday gift.”

Jihoon doesn’t like to brag, but he’s psychic. He knew that Woojin’s face would scream confusion.

“But,” he says pointing to his bracelet “isn’t this my gift?”

“You aren’t wrong. That is your gift dear. But, this… this is something I’ve been wanting to give you for a while.”  
He takes in a huge breath of air, Jihoon figures that he’ll need it.

“This is everything I’ve never told you. Every thought I’ve had, every doubt I’ve had, every single moment I felt that not even you could be of help, is logged in here.”

Jihoon pauses, the tears come a lot earlier than anticipated.

“I want you to notice something though,” Jihoon collects himself and manages to push through the upcoming waterfall “I stopped writing these recently, becau- well, you’ll see.”

“Jihoo-“

“No. I understand you’ll have a lot of questions, but I guarantee you that every single question you have will be answered through these books. I-I’ve never shown these to anybody. I feel like now is time to change that.”

He looks up to make sure Woojin is still listening and when he has the confirmation that he is, he continues.

“I know this doesn’t seem like a gift but I swear to you that it’s worth it. I swear to you that I won’t ever waste your time like this ever again. It’s only 8 in the evening, I know you’re a slow reader and I’m not expecting you to finish everything tonight, but I’m tired of waiting for everyone to listen to what I have to say. I’ll leave you to it, goodnight. Happy birthday, I love you.”

Jihoon waddles to bed and Woojin is left on the couch, void of any emotion. His train of thought is just so long, he can’t seem to connect the dots. _How could this hold all of my answers? I don’t even know how to form coherent questions._  Woojin doesn’t doubt Jihoon, so he grabs his blanket and makes his way to the terrace. The city breeze gives him the same feeling as the small fan in their room does. He gets comfy on the chair in the corner and prepares himself for whatever he’s in for. He sits quietly for a while, time passes but he doesn’t seem to have a grasp on that concept anymore. He thinks about everything that Jihoon and him have ever been, anything they’ve ever dreamed they could be. He wonders, _what has he not told me?_ He’s about to find out.

 

Woojin does a brief flip through the books only to find that their empty for the most part. _Huh, that’s a relief. I think?_ He realizes that there are years on the front of each book, corresponding to every year since they got together. Woojin has some grasp of common sense and makes picks up the first book.

_Park Jihoon, 2016._

 

The first and only letter on the page is open and Woojin thinks, _this is it._ He braces himself for whatever is about to come.

 

**Author's Note:**

> WOOO what a journey this should be . I have an english essay to write but my dumbass was like NEVERMIND i'll do this instead


End file.
